This is another one of those I-see-it-every-day scenarios.

Everyone you know—friends, family, co-workers, people from church—will be giving you advice regarding your divorce, including the financial side. Every one of them will be well-intentioned. They have your best interests at heart.

But can you believe them? Can you trust them? Should you act on any of this advice?

I’m a CPA, a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER^® professional, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst^® professional. This is my specialty. So I’d like to take a minute to help you navigate these choppy waters.

First things first. The best advice from a non-expert is “Talk to an expert.” If someone you know says “Based on my experience, you should do X,” then take that with a grain of salt. If they say it differently, such as “This is what happened in my case,” then that’s more helpful. It’s less of a blanket statement.

Another huge thing to consider: Arizona vs. non-Arizona advice. Arizona is a community-property state. What a non-Arizonan will tell you may be wildly off the mark. Ditto for child custody. There is no child custody in Arizona. There’s just “parenting time” and “decision-making authority.”

That said, here are some bits of advice I always hear about, and my take on them:

“Don’t look for a job!” People will often tell this to women like you, thinking that if you look for a job, you’ll end up with less spousal maintenance. Nope. The court will impute income to you regardless, based on a 40-hour work week—and they actually look favorably on women who are actively trying to chart the next phase of their financial lives.

“Make him leave the house!” This, along with “Don’t let him leave the house!” or “Don’t leave the house!” is one where people think it will affect the property settlement. At the end of the day, it doesn’t.

“Be sure to hire a shark attorney!” If you’re a meek or shy woman, you don’t want to get steam-rolled by an super-aggressive lawyer. Which leads to…

Choosing a lawyer

I’m not into gut feelings, with one exception: If your gut tells you that that lawyer isn’t a good fit, pay attention and move on. There are zillions of family-law attorneys out there; there’s no shortage for you to choose from.

That said, do your research. Check their experience and reviews. Don’t just ask them if they’re good (because of course they’ll simply say “Yes”). Rather, conduct a behavioral interview: “Tell me about a case you negotiated successfully.” In other words, don’t hire someone just because you like their personality.

Work up questions, in advance, for your prospective attorney. Believe it or not, ChatGPT can be good for this.

You can even work up questions before you meet with me, if you like. Your attorney’s job is to know the law. My job is to know money and taxes. And, as a divorcée myself, I know what you’re going through, and how to get you started on the next phase of your life.

Contact me today and let’s talk.

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